i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
