"it" just moved
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
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when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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