My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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