So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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