i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
