I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
