i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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