so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my shit smells like andre
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm always down for nudity.
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