i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
