You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
