I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
