i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
