wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
