The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
