She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
