Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
