i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My hand turned me down
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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