Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
