4 words: hood of his car
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
