I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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