lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
