chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
