we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
