Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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