he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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