turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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