It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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