new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
