I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
