I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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