I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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