I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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