You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
