He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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