I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
