i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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