Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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(702): View more from Nevada

It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.

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(516): View more from New York

I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...

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(517): View more from Michigan

Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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(502): View more from Kentucky

New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.

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(516): View more from New York

My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.

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(925): View more from California

It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.

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