i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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