How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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