Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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