not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
