wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
