now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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