This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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