i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
