If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
