I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
