shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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