What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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