in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
