I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
ok first of all what the fuck
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
