Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
