I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
