Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
