Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
