Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
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If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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