I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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