I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
one might say we're banned from that church
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
