Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
