Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
