Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
