I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
