Christians are straight up FREAKS
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize