as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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