if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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