a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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