If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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