I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
