if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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